Pxlism

Home!

Wed, 02 Jul 2008 15:58:05 GMT

Hi, everyone! I just thought I'd give a little update on what's going on here in the life of moi.

Well, things are going alright. I have four certifications now, and am working on the next Microsoft exam. I hate it sometimes, it feels trying having to sit around all day with your absolutely nuerotic teacher standing behind you, trying to dictate all that you need to do that day, but heck, I guess he's just trying to keep me in check.

The certs I have so far are the following:

A+
Network+
MCP - Microsoft Windows XP
MCP - Microsoft Windows Server 2003

I'm working on Server 2003 Infastructure.

My life seems to revolve around school, and I'd love to get a job, but I'm so nervous about it! It seems that whole transition into the work world is easy for some, but it freaks me out to no end. I hope sooner or later I'll be able to swing myself into it. I think I'd be good at it if I had the chance, but only if I can combat this painful shyness. Gah.

Other than that, there's no much else. There's a boy, yes, but I don't think he's as interested in me as I am him. It's hard, I guess, it always seems to work that way, but hell, he asked me out first. I keep telling myself that so I don't lose all hope. Hee. He's pretty, a little skinny, but I think he's handsome. And we're a lot alike. I really like that.

I'm glad to hear that everything is going well for everyone! I hope that Pud had a great birthday! Mine was pretty good, too.

Other than that, I'm at home now for the next three weeks (this week included in the three), and I hope I can survive. My Dad is now home for good, as long as he doesn't break his home confinement (which he shouldn't, because he's so anal about it). My sister is there too, including her underhanded comments about the things I wear and the how I don't get a long so well with my nephews. It burns her up that I can't really connect with the little ones, but I just don't have the patience for young, young kids. God, help me.

Other than that, I love ya'll! Bye!

- Casey

Sun, 27 Apr 2008 07:04:00 GMT

Hi, all. Casey here. Figure I'd give all you ladies (and maybe a sneaky gentleman or two) a view into my recent happenings.

Well, things have been going as smooth as to be expected, I guess. Now that I have my A+ certification in Information Technology and my Windows XP Professional certification, I'm working my butt off (yeah right) to get my next certification, Windows Server 2003. I really can't remember which M-starting acronymn I'll be after I achieve that cert, but then it's onto Net+, Security+, and beyond. Oh, and I have my drivers permit. Squee.

Other than that, not much has been going on. I'm not on good terms with one of my room-mates, which has made my living situation a tad bit awkward. It was so bad for me that I had to move beds. The girl is ignoring me (and is very blatant about it, which I think is kinda sad), but it's fine. I'm doing my best to not let it bother me.

Went out with my friend Aaron today and have bought my first shiney, new pair of DCs. They are BEAUTIFUL shoes, white with shinies all on the sides. Love 'em! Oh, and a new hoodie. I don't think you guys have seen the old one, but god..it needs to be put down, like a family pet. I have sewed it so many times that people can actually tell. Urk. Yet, he is replaced, but a nice navy blue converse hoodie. Lol.

Mm..that's about it for now. Just pray for me and hope for me if you can't pray. Bye, guys!

- Casey

(PS. I'd have written more, but I'm exhausted. ><; )

Hey Everyone!

Sun, 14 Oct 2007 15:25:56 GMT

Howdy all! Casey here. Just wanting to let you know what's going on in my life because I haven't followed up on my last post yet. Well, as you guys probably guessed, I DID get into Edison Job Corp Academy, and am now there for my computer certifications. I intend to get as many as possible so I can continue on and get a great job and finally be INDEPENDENT. Who doesn't love being independent (though, I think my Dad is rather upset that I'll end up staying in Jersey for a while after I'm complete, but I love him and he'll get over it. :D ). As for me, things are going well. I love my room-mate Rachel and I have my PS2 here and it's REALLY FLIPPIN' COLD. I'm starting to work out and trying to lose some weight. Things are going really good and I miss everyone and hope that I'll talk to you guys soon! Wish me luck!

-- Casey

Howdy All!

Sun, 16 Sep 2007 16:42:04 GMT

Hi everyone. I know it's been a long time, but I figured that I would let everyone know the good news and see if anyone really was interested. Lol.

Well, I've been doing great. Lost some weight and having more confidence in msyelf. I'm pretty happy here at Job Corps. I have friends I'm close with, especially one in particular, and I already had a Job Corp romance (though, it didn't last long. Lol. That's okay though, you win some, you lose some). As for actual work, I've completed my simple training for Computer Repair. Lemme tell you, I've learned a lot of things I didn't know before and it's pretty amazing that I know so much about computers now. Even though I know quite a bit, I still don't know enough, so I'm heading off to advanced training around the end of this month. Where is advanced training for my trade at? Why, 40 minutes outside the BIG APPLE. Damn skippy! I'll be 40 minutes outside of New York City, and be able to go there anytime I want on the weekends, hell, I'll probably even have to work there in a short while. I'll be getting certifications for Computer Repair, I hope to leave with at least 5 or 6. I may have to live there even after this is all over, but I'll supposedly be making quite enough money to live there. All I lack is experience, and I can fill that up quickly. I really enjoy the work though, enjoy knowing things like that. It's fun.

Just wish me luck because I'm pretty nervous about being so far away and around more people that I don't know. I'm actually kind of sad to leave this Job Corp Center, which is ODJCC, but I think it'll be for the best. I have to worry more for my future. I think I'll be fine, just wish me the best!

I hope everyone is doing well in their endevours and are enjoying life and just being happy. Love you guys!

-- Casey

P.S. Russell, if I move to NY, you're coming with me. :D

Hi Everyone!

Wed, 18 Jul 2007 00:03:34 GMT

Hi, everyone! I've been reading your absolutely hilarious reviews of OOTP, so I figured I'd add my own for good measure! My friend Aaron and I will be letting you know what we liked and what we didn't like, so, here we go!

Casey: Okay, first off, I have to openly say that I have a love, hate relationship about this movie. I think that they could have done so much, and they left out such subtle things that, if someone would have went back and watched it, they could have been like, "Oooh? Did I just see something new." But I may be wrong about the fact that they may have snuck something, but I didn't see anything particularly interesting other than what was infront of my eyes.

Aaron: Someone needs to have their literary liscense revoked. Am I the only person who thinks that HP, all the movies, not just this one, should have been way over the top? It's about magic, and they're great stories, and I feel that they misrepresented, especially the last one.

Casey: Okay, things I actually liked. I liked anything to do with Umbridge, woman, scared the crap out of me. I'm serious, she could give somebody nightmares. And that's the Umbridge we wanna see, because if she had been any less manical, it would have been disappointing. I also liked Fred and George's escape, but I think that it would have been better with Peeves, which..everything would be better with Peeves. And..I liked when Harry was in Dumbledore's office and yelled at Dumbledore to look at him in the face. I thought that was..golden. I also liked Arthur's attack, and thought that they did really well with it. I also liked that Percy showed up during Dumbledore's escape.

Aaron: I have to agree with the Umbridge thing, she was a great character. By the end of the movie, you wanted to choke her, you wanted the centaurs to trample her in front of you instead of dragging her off. Okay, the headquarters for the Order was PERFECT in my mind, just like I imagined. Harry's dreams about the door and the attack on Arthur were very well done. Luna was another really good character. The whole court scene was really well done too.

Casey: Okay, and now onto the things I don't like at ALL about this movie. I'm gonna leave one of the things I keep forgetting to Aaron because it's his biggest pet peeve. WHERE. WAS. LILY. I WANTED TO SEE LILY EVANS SO BAD IT WAS CRAZY. As for me, I really...REALLY..hated Sirius's death scene. I thought they could have made it ten times more gut wrenching. I was pissed because they didn't have sound for like..10 seconds. Also, I was disappointed in Bellatrix's egging Harry on afterward. HBC was really good at being Bellatrix, because Bellatrix is psycho, but I wanted to hear, "I thought you were here to avenge my dear cousin." So bad...and I didn't. Also, I didn't like Luna. She was nothing like I expected her to be. I always thought Luna was draggy and not pretty. I always thought she'd be..a bit like Trelawney. And I thought that they made her be..too..wimsical. Though I know Luna is wimsical, it just..wasn't what I had planned..so..yeah. I didn't like that they didn't show Neville's parents at St. Mungos. So...that's all I can think of right now, though I know there's more, because I'm a horribly negative person, so..yeah..Aaron? (OMG, JUST REMEMBERED SOMETHING, I WAS SO PISSED BECAUSE THEY SHOWED PHINNEAS(SPL?), BUT HE WASN'T LIKE HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE. HE WASN'T AN ASSHOLE.)

Aaron: THE SHRIEKING PORTRAIT OF MRS. BLACK. Where was it? They could have easily put it in there, it would have been less than five minutes of film time. Even for one scene, she could have been just screaming in the background in any of the scenes in the order headquarters. There's a bunch of little things they left out that they could have easily added in, even without explination. They could have added the fact that Luna's father works at a magazine. That would have explained the Nargles. For the sake of Casey's fingers, because she's typing, I won't list all of them because that would be wrong for her. ... BUT KNOW THAT I'M PISSED OFF ABOUT THEM.

Casey: And, that's about it. So..yeah. Hope you guys enjoyed. All in all, it was okay, but I sure hope HBP is better.

Hi everyone!

Mon, 26 Mar 2007 17:21:42 GMT

Hi, all! Just wanted to let everyone know that I'm doing great here at Job Corp. It's actually not so bad, just a few people with attitude, but you just try to stay away from people like that. I've made friends and everything, and things are just great. Lol. I can't really say much because I don't have a lot of time, but I wanted to tell you all that I miss you guys loads and I can't wait to be able to talk to you guys. I hope you're all doing well. I love you guys!

-- Casey

Ps. PA! Give me your address if you read this! :D I lost it on the way. And how is Junline? I can't get a hold of her?

Fri, 02 Mar 2007 20:33:20 GMT

Ah, things have been going right as rain, I guess. I leave on the 13th of March to go to Job Corp, and I get my ticket to leave on the ninth, which is great. Patti is taking me out to eat that day, too, as a going away present. It's neat, because at least I'll get to see my nephews before I have to leave. It'll be a long time before I get to see them again. Sigh.

Um, finally got over the whole being called fat thing by Bobby Jr. I like my hair cut. At least it's not ugly..blue..and wavy..like a certain girl on LJ who looks like a man. Ah, but I should explain? I posted a not-so-nice secret on LJ about somebody (don't worry, it's not about you guys), and now it's getting blown out of proportion. Ah, well. Let them do what they want, make fun of me and what-not. I really could not care less. My only regret is that I was dumb enough to make my secret not so secret by posting it on my PXLism photobucket account. I'm a dumb-ass, I guess.

I'm actually really excited about leaving, albeit a bit nervous, if I do say so myself. I'm going to go out and get me a few sketchbooks so I might draw, and a few notebooks so I can start writing again. Maybe some D/G goodness? I dunno. It'll probably be crap, as usual. I'm good at thinking up the stories, it's just hard to put them on paper. Just like when I draw. The faces look alright, but the body looks like some distorted walrus or something. Ugh.

Oh! Yesterday, Trish, Russell's mom called and told me that the people who provide food for the school are looking at her to pay a 154 dollar bill for food that I ate when I was a senior. Considering that was about..3 or 4 years ago, I think it's a bit ridiculous, and I called the company and told them as such. It's good that they told me I'm not expected to pay it, that she is, considering the fact that she was my guardian at that time. She had means to pay it. I wonder why she never did? She wanted me to tell them that I had a paper to turn into the school that I didn't turn in, but I can't remember her ever giving me a paper, or I would have. Ugh. Stupid to talk about it, but it gave me a bit of irritation.

Lol. My life is so boring, talking about old food bills from high school.

Anyways, I guess I'll go. Love you guys, and I hope everyone's doing alright.

P.S. Happy Birthday, PA!

Sigh.

Sat, 24 Feb 2007 23:00:15 GMT

Well..because my hair was dead, nasty, and extremely difficult to brush, I had it cut off so my hair could grow out again.

It's funny how one of the first comments I hear is, "Why'd you cut all your hair off, you look fatter now. You look like you gained 50 pounds. I saw some fat ass girl get out of that white car today. I didn't think it was you."

Ugh. It's a wonder I haven't developed an eating disorder yet.

Still Around

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 22:51:16 GMT

Ahh, I'm still around, I must say, but things are going pretty crazy and hectic around where I live.

Tuesday, I went for my Job Corp interview. Everything went really well, and I decided to take Culinary Art...yet..after thinking about it long and hard, I decided to change my 'career' to Pharmecutical Technician (I can't even spell Pharmacuetical, rofl). The only reason I'm changing it is because I think that Culinary Art will become the one career I'd center myself around forever, where I can be a Pharmacy Technician in a pharmacy while I'm at a big college, like I've always wanted to be in. I can still go to music, but even if that doesn't work out, I'll have Pharmacy Tech to fall back on. Hey, they make good money! :D

So, I think everything's planned out. I just need to fax them my Diploma (if I ever get to the library). It's snowing right now, so I don't know if we'll be able to go out and do all the things we need to do tomorrow, so wish me luck. I pray the roads aren't frozen. ><;

As for life in general, things can be a bit trying. Junline worries me daily, she's so depressed, and I feel like if she's left alone for a long period of time, she could hurt herself. When she told me that when I leave for Job Corp, she'd probably go to her daughter Nancy's, I was filled with relief. Yet, I don't know if she'll go because Nancy is trying to run her life and it's pissing her off. I hope Nancy doesn't push her into try to do something she doesn't want or need to do. Like she said last night, "I wish my kids wouldn't talk behind my back. I'm still here, you know."

Well, I'm waiting to find out what day I'll be leaving for Job Corp before I pack my things. I think my only resort in keeping some of my belongings is to go to my real Dad and ask him if he'll allow me to keep things in his old trailer. I'm just really worried about my belongings, but I'm sure it will be alright. I'll send my computer things to Patti's before I leave, and I'll restart the computer as well, so if the boys want to play on it, they'll be able to. I don't know what I'll do about buying the essentials (they expect you to bring and buy shampoo, conditoner, razors, pads, washing detergent, bleach, dryer sheets, lotion, deodorant, etc.), if I have to go without, I will. Junline found out that she's not getting death insurance from her husband's old job (where he still gets pension checks and the like from. I think they cheated her out of it) and she has to save her money, so there's no way I'd ask her. I'm sure I can scrimp up something. I don't think my Real Dad would let me go without anything, right..?

I mean..I HOPE he doesn't let me go without anything.

Ah, I'm addicted to ljsecret so bad. I read it all the time, and have already made like..four secrets of my own. I have to wait for a submissions post before I post them though.

I think I'll be having my internet shut off real soon, so if you don't hear from me for a while, don't worry. I'll keep everyone updated while I'm at Job Corp, too. (The have computers there.)

Well, that's it! I love you all! Take care of yourselves and wish me luck.

-- Casey

P.S. I love Bambi 2!

A long, sad week.

Fri, 12 Jan 2007 19:26:41 GMT

Well, this week has been terrible. You've probably been wondering what's been going on, so I'll tell you.

Junline's husband has died.

Bobby passed away on the 9th, and today was his funeral. Right now, they're putting him in the ground..and I'm so broken up about it, and so depressed, I don't even know what to do with myself. It killed me to see Junline break down infront of his coffin when they were closing it. I cried more for her than I did myself..and now I can't stop crying.

I didn't go to see the burial, for reasons that aren't really that important. I guess it hurt my feelings that when we were going into the Bronco, Angy said 'Get in the back!' a little harshly, and I just..couldn't go after that. I told Joe-Joe that it was okay, that I was going to go home. I feel bad now, because Junline had told me to go up there, and I just..I didn't.

It kills me. I'm bawling my eyes out, and I've only known him for a year. He was really a cool guy though, I loved Bobby. Junline is going through hell..I don't know what's going to happen.

I don't know what's going to happen.

Goodbye

Wed, 27 Dec 2006 01:46:17 GMT

I got a call from a woman I know, telling me not to speak to her son anymore because I tell him my problems and he takes it out on her, and he has too much on his mind.

So, I have to say goodbye to my little brother now. I'll see him when he gets older and he can talk to me again. I love him so much, but considering he's a minor, and I have to do as she says, it's goodbye.

Merry Christmas!

Tue, 26 Dec 2006 18:55:49 GMT

Well, these past couple of days have been PRETTIIII frustrating. Here's all the things that happened in small, easy to use, paragraphs.

1. Well, my computer monitor @$#! up really hard and bad. All of a sudden, on Christmas Eve morning, it started to make wild clicking noises that freaked the crap out of me. I didn't know what was going on! So, I had to say goodbye to my dear sweet monitor. Thankfully, Junline's daughter-in-law's allowed me to use her monitor to their family computer, because they don't use it at their house, and I'm allowed to keep it til I get another one. There's a furthur story there..

2. The furthur story is that my dear, biological father, David Collins got me a Christmas present. 100 bucks! I was so shocked when Lynn walked in. At that point, I didn't know if I was going to get my hands on a monitor, so I asked him to help me, and he said he would, but I'm still not sure. I'm gonna call him and ask about it, probably tonight. He told me he loved me before I even said it (A first) and gave me two hugs and told me Merry Christmas. It made me feel good. I already have a Daddy who I adore, but it doesn't mean I can't love David Collins, too, and because he came to see me on Christmas, something he hasn't done so often.

3. ...That's about it.

So, that's it! Love you guys, and I hope you had an AWESOME Christmas. Bye!

That's IT.

Mon, 18 Dec 2006 07:06:08 GMT

I am SOOOOOOOOOO on the cusp of turning in to a giant lesbian beacuse I cannot STAND men anymore.

Not only have I found out that Mr. Joseph Earley is a lieing sack of shit cheater back in the day before he went to the army, but that he's a lieing sack of shit cheater NOW as well. He has a sweet little Georgian girlfriend named Miss Crystal Bowen. She's a sweet, pretty, plump girl who has 'I love my PFC' pasted all across her freaking myspace page, with plenty of pictures of them cuddled up close and comfortable.

God, how stupid am I? I'm the most dumbest bitch I've ever put my eyes on. How could I not see? I mean, everyone else could see. Jamie could see..Beth could see (though, instead of being in love with her, he was fucking with the both of us)..Russell could see..OMG..FREAKING RAMZA/JOHN COULD SEE! HOW MANY TIMES DID HE TELL ME THAT JOEY WAS LIVING IT UP IN LEGRANGE, GA WITH SOME GIRL.

And I feel like such an idiot. I feel so stupid. I'm a smart girl, I'm definately not dumb, and instead of being so overly mad about this whole thing, I'm DISAPPOINTED IN MYSELF. Oh, but I won't tell that girl he's with. I won't tell Miss Bowen about me and her lovely PFC she loves so dearly. Lord knows I don't matter at all. I know I don't, not to that cocksucker.

I want all my buddies on here to make this promise to me and make it now.

IF I EVER SPEAK OF JOSEPH EARLEY EVER AGAIN IN MY LIFE, I WANT YOU TO PUT A GUN TO MY HEAD, GIVE ME FIVE SECONDS TO SWEAT, AND THEN PULL THE FUCKING TRIGGER.

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen!

Sad, Sad, Sad

Sun, 17 Dec 2006 18:04:07 GMT

Well, Dad isn't coming home. He isn't coming home for the next three years. Not only did the Judge he saw, some special judge at the Robert C. Byrd court house in Charleston, not give him any linency or mercy, but he was also ruthless. I had no idea a judge could talk to him like that! I mean, I figured he would be even a bit kind and just, but that man pegged dad. Called him an abomination to the court system, and when Dad said that the judge didn't know how remorseful he was about the whole thing, and how much he'd cried, the judge interrupted him and said, "Well, how much did your victims cry when you did what you did to them?" Patti called him a 'Son of a Bitch' under her breath. Even the court marshall was horrible. He told the US's lawyer 'Good Job' after the whole thing. I mean..I cried through the whole thing. I can't understand how someone can just look at all these crying people, all these sad people and not feel remorse. Some fat Court Reporter sat and stared at me through the whole thing. And the Judge locked eyes with me once and I just cried. You could feel how much the judge didn't like him, and when Dad stood up to defend himself, the Judge tried to make him out to be a liar, and when Dad stood up for himself, and pretty much gave the judge what-for, well..I think that just made him angrier. He compared him to horrible people, and then said that it was the most low down crime ever and that he took money from extremely gulliable poor people. Yeah, from DRUGGED-OUT poor people. Yeah, Dad took some money, but how can you compare a man that took 700 dollars to a man that ruins a girls life by raping her or something like that. So now, he isn't coming home. Goodbye hopes for Christmas, goodbye four-year-college, goodbye all of it. Goodbye every dream I ever had.

When we were driving home, I didn't cry for just Dad, I cried for myself too. You see, everyone gets to go back home after this. Patti gets to go back to her nice little cabin on the hill and live it up with her pretty jewelry and her lovely clothes. Derrick and Kandis can go back to their apartment and not have jobs or anything and still get everything they want. Yeah, they can go home. Where do I go? I can't stay here forever.

It made me think..'What am I living for?' I have not one thing to show for my pathetic existence on this planet. I don't have anything. I don't even have a home to go back to. I'm wasting away over here in Lincoln county. I'm never gonna get to college. So, since PA has thought it over and it seems like it's the direction she's taking, then I think I'll look into Job Corp, but I don't know ANYTHING about it.

BTW, to anyone that knows ANYTHING about the judicial system. The whole thing went like this: The Supreme Court were the ones that told Daddy that he was wrongfully sentenced, but a federal court can overule the supreme court? And why can't Dad just take his case there? I don't understand. I thought the Supreme Court was..the best..or something. Sorry, small town girl trying to understand worldly politics, but Dad is totally not explaining it in the way I'd understand. Shoo.

Well, that's it. Came home, and now I'm sitting here. God, I don't know what to do. I feel so empty.

Another Random Entry

Fri, 08 Dec 2006 19:08:40 GMT

Okay, well, I'm writing..again..about daily life around here. Nothing much has happened. I'm talking to Joseph again, and everything is going alright there. He saved two kitties yesterday, gray fluffy ones. I want them. *.*

Also, Aunt Flo is still visiting and has no inclination to leave. HOW LONG DOES THIS CRAP LAST?!! I miss my usual 3 days and then bye-bye.

Also..I have ingrown toenails that are driving me nutters. I pulled out one the other day that looked like a FREAKING DAGGER. And now it's all gross and infected. Ew. And they go all the way down my toe. My toe has always hurt loads, but I never figured it to be an ingrown toenail. Most likely because I thought only old ladies and grannies got them. o.o I guess I was wrong. Loads wrong.

Dad wrote me a letter and I got it today. He talked to me about how happy he was to get a letter from me, and how it was retarded to think that he'd get murdered in jail. He said 'Where does that woman who told you that think I've been for the past 4 years?' And he also said that he's already been cellmates with men who he put in jail, but they never did anything or said anything to him about it. I'm just glad that he's alright in there. He also talked about how much he was going to torture me on the walking track when he gets home. And..he also wrote down the lyrics to 'Santa Claus is Coming to Town.' He always used to sing that for Christmas all funny-like.

My Dad is nuts. Like woah.

Okay, that's it. Love you guys!

Ah, Another Update.

Mon, 04 Dec 2006 03:33:56 GMT

Well, another boring update, as usual. Things are as normal as possible. I finally have a period, which I know is gross to my man readers, but I'm rejoicing. It means that nothing should be seriously wrong with me, and I'm glad.

Yay.

I actually feel a lot happier and lighter now, rolling around in the incredible cramping. Ugh. I'm glad though. I've been a devil to deal with these past couple of months, and FINALLY, my hormones have balanced themselves out, and I feel like I've been struck with plenty of cheering charms. <3

Though, I'm feeling sad that there's all these Christmas Card polls I can't join, and I wanna be like, "OMG,GIRLS,LIKESENDMEACHRISTMASCARDNOW!!" But..not knowing where I'll be, I can't really say to send them. ::Sigh.::
But that mingles with the fact that Dad might come home.

Ohmygod. CHRISTOPHER AND COREY ARE GOING TO DAD'S COURT TRIAL. This made me laugh so hard. They'll be good, but I'm still like woah about the whole thing. O.o;

Well, not much to talk about, so I guess I'll go. Bye, ya'll.

Fanfiction Help!

Fri, 24 Nov 2006 01:19:55 GMT

Okay. It has occured to me that it is nowadays very hard to find a good D/G, N/L fanfic..anywhere..

So I need the help of all my buddies on my flist. I want to know what your favorite fanfic is and if you can..who wrote it? I'd really like to find some top-notch D/G, N/L, hell..anything, for my reading pleasure, because everything I read of D/G that's any good is a story I've read before (like..right now, I'm reading Echo's 'A Bit of the Dark Sinister' again).

So, please, help meeee!

Thanksgiving Blues

Thu, 23 Nov 2006 18:59:05 GMT

Well..I'm depressed today. I'm trying to be happy and thankful and gleeful but it just isn't coming to me. I spent all morning cooking stuff. We didn't have a really big meal, but Junline's son came down from his house to eat, and when he went to get a little cheesecake, he spit it out and threw it away, and said, "You can't eat it, it's nasty." Junline just let out a little giggle.

I wanted to cry so bad. I ended up sitting for about five minutes on the couch before going to my room.

You know..maybe I'm not that good of a cook. Maybe I'm horrible at it. At least I tried, you know? There's no reason to be so mean about it. He ate the turkey I made..he ate the stuffing..I mean..it couldn't have been that bad..bad enough to say that?

And the family still hasn't called..neither has Joey...

Sometimes, it makes me realize how lonely I am. The family I call family isn't really my family, my Dad isn't here, my boyfriend isn't having anything to do with me.

It makes me just want to cry.

Sleeeep..

Thu, 23 Nov 2006 03:48:10 GMT

I want to go to bed so bad, but I have to stay up to set the turkey and finish cooking other crap, too. My family didn't even invite me over, and I don't really want to go with Junline to her family's dinner. I'm not trying to be rude or anything, but I just don't want to go..

Why does Thanksgiving have to blow so hard? Ugh.

Soreness, Old-Lady Pervertedness, and Yogurt

Tue, 21 Nov 2006 13:33:17 GMT

Oh..man..am I sore. The day before yesterday, I know I did at least 150 sittups that entire day. That may not seem like a big effort, but for me it is! When I tried to do them at night, it was so hard to bring myself back up to my knees. I'm sooooo out of shape. Rofl. It hurts to laugh, it hurts to eat, it even hurts to sleep (I wake up in the mornings wanting to go to the toilet to yak. Ew). I hope it goes away soon and I can get back on track.

In other news, yesterday, Junline took Bobby (her husband) and I to Long John Silvers. It was yummy, as usual, and undoubtfully fattning, but that'll be okay. Anyways, I love the bell they have there, and she always gets so embarrased because I ring it really loudly before she leave. She's told me, "WAIT TIL I GET OUTSIDE BEFORE YOU DO IT!" And I said, "Noooo! I'm gonna do it while you're in here! ::ring ring ring ring.::"

Well, we went to Foodland and I was very good. We went through the candy section (And if you must know, candy is my greatest weakness) and I thought to myself, "Fruits..veggies..yogurt..good things. Candy baaaaaaad." And I didn't buy ANYTHING fattening. Awesomeness. I bought yogurt, oranges, carrots, and some fat-free pudding. Yeah! Jump on the ball, Collins! I'm pretty proud of myself.

Oh wait, I lied. I bought popsicles, because I love them. But I promise I'll only have one a day. Yeah. One a day. Rather than the 15 I have everyday. I swear to god, popsicles are like drugs to me. I love them.

Anyway, on the way home, I think Junline was in the mood to put me through a lot of pain by making me laugh. I was talking about getting married, and her husband, who isn't very good at hearing, asks me, "How many times have you been married?" and I said, "Never. Junline, how many times have YOU been married." And she said, nonchallantly, "Oh, 'bout 60 times. I'm looking for Moby Dick, the white whale." And I just..couldn't..hold it in. When old people are perverted it's absolutely hilarious.

Well, we got home, and I downloaded more things for the Sims, then I went to bed. And this morning, I watched the offical Harry Potter and the OOTP trailer at the HappyFeet website (because it wasn't working for me on Yahoo). Well, I have to say that I think it looks really good, but I get excited over Harry Potter anything. I think Bellatrix looks fantastic, and I also like the more we see of Ron and Snape. Hope it continues. As for Umbridge, I have to say I'm disappointed. The woman playing her looks too cheery and sweet, reminds me a bit of Molly, except the fact that Umbridge is supposed to look like some great big old toad. Hey..didn't us Duvalians have a teacher that had..like..11 toes who would be perfect? God, and everyone loved to pick on her, what was her name? Ah, well, I dunno.

Well, that's it! Bye everyone!

P.S. I would very much love to sign up for ya'lls Christmas cards this year, but I don't know where I'll be so I can't put my name down for them. I always loved getting Christmas cards, and I'm sad I won't get them this year.. But, thanks anyway, everyone. <3

Watcha Gonna Do About It?

Sat, 18 Nov 2006 23:02:48 GMT

Well, after a very sad conversation at 3 o'clock with Joey, I discovered that I supposedly have been digging myself into the hole by leaving messages asking him why he's not talking to me and why he doesn't like me anymore. He gets so aggravated. And now I don't know what to do. I guess all I can do is wait, but should I? I'm so tired of waiting. I'm tired of waiting on Dad, I'm tired of waiting on Joey. I'm tired of waiting. I wish I could do. I wish I could just..DO.

Well, a good highlight was that I went to Lena's, and god, that girl is TINY. She's lost loads of weight, but she looks so cute and good. I'm glad everything is going well for her. It's cool how I can just go to her house after not seeing her for a while, and it feels like old times. We can laugh together, she shares her brilliance in music-picking, and everything..just feels normal. I love that. I wish I could be in college with her. I miss her loads.

Well, that's all to update. Now I'm cooking pork steaks with potatoes and onions. Thank god they're boiled instead of fried (I hate fried meat. Ick. Unless it's topped with loads of meat tenderizer and sage.)

I've decided that I need to find me a calendar for my computer that reminds me to do something. And every hour, at 23 minutes, I'm gonna do some sit ups. I'm tired of being fat. Now it's time to do something aboutit. Yeah. I'm on survival mode. Eat til I'm just a little full. Yeeeah..

It's gonna be coo'.

EDIT: And now, Junline's sister calls and says, "Oh, well, when are YOU leaving?" And I say, "Well, since Joey's being a bit like a jerk, I don't know. You know how men are." "Uh-huh, so you're NOT leaving?" "I..I really don't know." "Okay, bye!"

Must..shove..face..in..wall.. Grrrrrrr...

Random Bored Omg Like Woah Post

Fri, 17 Nov 2006 17:43:24 GMT

I..have come to the conclusion that I'm bored. And therefore, I thought I would just write about random boredness until (hopefully) someone pops up on my AIM/Yahoo lists who can make it a bit more interesting.

A. I want to start writing my Mirror Vision story, but I'm terrified to do so. Omg, what if everyone hates it? And besides, I want the website to look cool when I make it, but nothing I draw is coming out. Grr = Must pull hair out.

B. It's weird, but Ouran High School Host Club is making me wish I was a skinny, boobless, girl with short brown hair. Damn anime. Damn it to hell!

C. I'm tired of my hair. ::Add incessant whining.:: It's all dried out and frizzy, most likely from the box dying I gave it not too long ago. ::Sob.:: Therefore, I would very much like to cut off to about my shoulders, but I don't think it would look good with my giant body. ;.; ::sob.::

D. I have no idea why I continue to register Joey as my boyfriend, because from the way things look (him not talking to me when I send him a message just congradulating him on graduating today) I am boyfriendless. ::Sigh.:: I'm such an uber loser.

F. Very much wishing I had some friends to lean against.

G. ... *Huff.* I am so tired of cleaning this house.

Well..

Wed, 15 Nov 2006 08:28:19 GMT

Well, he didn't come home, but he didn't get sentenced today either. They moved his courtdate..again..to December 15. Dad says it's because the judge hadn't checked over his case well enough and wanted to continue to review it. Well, it's not a bad thing. Maybe he'll get out in December. I'm just disappointed because I had hoped he'd get to come home today.

Once again, love life is in shambles. Makes me want to kick that little southern boys behind.

Well, sorry that it wasn't some great news. ::Half asleep at the moment.:: I'll keep you guys posted! Please continue to pray.

Love ya guys! -- Casey

Today's The Day

Tue, 14 Nov 2006 14:22:30 GMT

Dear..goooood..

Today is the day we find out if Dad gets to come home, and I'm..so nervous. It's like I'm getting ready to walk out into a crowd buck-naked. I woke up in the middle of the night, and ever since then, my stomach just won't stop practicing gymnastics! Lol. I just hope he gets to come home.

It gets on my nerves a bit, how everyone says, "He's coming home, don't say IF! Say that he IS." But, I can't say he's coming home, because A. I don't know if he is. & B. I don't want to get my hopes up.

Mucho thanks to Steph-Mama, Pud, and DA. You guys don't know how much it means that someone other than our family is rooting for him.

I'll let everyone know what happens the moment I get to a computer. Thanks again!

-- Casey

P.S. Wish me more luck and continue to pray!

Change..is good!

Mon, 13 Nov 2006 09:43:42 GMT

Oh my god, it just hit me.

If my dad comes home tomorrow, my whole life is going to change.

Wow.